User Profile

I came into the world on 7th August 1986 which makes me the grand ol' age of 19. I'm currently unemployed, but hoping to find a career in office/administration work soon. I have mousy coloured hair which is usually highlighted blonde and copper. My eyes are blue and i stand tall at 5'10''.



I have two three brothers, Mark, Richard and John. Mark has one son Kai, who will be four in August, and a gorgeous daughter who will be two in November. Mark is happily married to Lea, who works as a primary school teacher. Mark on the other hand works in security.



Richard is married to Sam, and has been gifted with two beautiful daughters, Elana, who will be four in June, and Kaleigh who will be two of April next year. Richard works with computers, and tends to travel to different places around the world to train others. Sam is a stay at home mum, however she was originally a hairdresser.



John is sadly my third brother. I was tormented, emotionally and physically abused by him for many years. I don't have any contact with him, however my mother and father do. As far as i know he will be getting married in June this year abroad.



My mothers name is Marian, she didn't have me until she was 40 years of age. She is now retired due to arthritus. Originally she was a supervisor on Plants & Flowers at a local supermarket, her original career was a home carer for the Elderly.



My fathers name is Paul, he worked in farming all his life up until last year when we all moved house. He now works on bread & cakes in a local supermarket. He enjoys what he does, when your a farmer you don't get to socialise much, but he's taken to his new job like a duck to water.



After my mum and dad lived in our old house for 27 years we finally moved into a 2 bedroomed bungalow. It's small, but we're all content. The old house was filled with mould and damp, we had no central heating for nearlly 2 years, and my father's boss refused to do anything, so our only option was to move. I do miss the "countryside", i miss the space and the big garden, but it was time to move on, for all of us.




Angel In Heaven



On 11th July 2001 i gave birth to my only child, Tamira Lia. She was born stillborn at 24 weeks. Although i am desperate to be with her, i know my place is to stay down here for now, and i know one day she will bless me with a little brother or sister for her.



A letter i wrote to her in 2004, sums everything up.



Tamira, my angel, my darling,

Alot of people know i'm never good with words, but sometimes things need to be said.
Its getting late and your probably fast asleep tucked up in bed, thats what a dear friend told me.
My friends tell me that your happy and safe in gods hands, i've never doubted that, but the guilt inside me doesn't stop. This time two years ago i was laying in bed ripping my hair out, screaming for something to take the pain away, the pain of my problems, my eyes streaming, my voice going for screaming so much. I did this to myself, but my baby you suffered..and im sorry.



If you lived to see this day you would be two, your second birthday, not a day goes by in July that i wonder what it would be like, balloons, party cake, mucky chocolate faces all around us, you ripping your presents open wondering what presents you've got from your family. I can only picture that face, as i'll never know will i?



No-one ever seems to believe me about you, my lifes in shreads because of what i've done, and so many people think im making it up. But i've learnt not to worry about them, i know its true, i gave birth to you, i should know exactly what went through my mind that day.



I'm sorry for everything my angel, i didn't mean to hurt you, i was thinking of myself as usual.
I hope you know up there that your mummy loves you very much, and always will until we meet and have that first cuddle.
I'll be waiting for that day.
My darling, my angel, my little girl..i love you.



Tamira Lia

July 11th 2001

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